Natalie's Rules: Energy Management During a Pandemic

Rule #1.  There is no such thing as doing a small task.  If you haven't got a completely free day to do something—don't start. 

All I wanted to do today was make a copy of an invoice, and then file the original. We are talking here about putting away one single piece of paper.  So here’s what happened.

The family printer turned out to be jammed, which meant I had to figure out how to fix it, and then the paper holder was empty, which meant I had to refill it.  But first I had to discover where the paper was now stored, and then find the printer instruction book to learn how to put the paper into the correct holder. I finally managed to make a copy but couldn’t find the right file to put the original back into, so I made a new file and then needed to label it.  Of course I had to scrounge through drawers to find the labels. I then decided that, since I had the labels out anyway, I had better re-label all the rest of the files too, as they were looking shabby.  At this point I realized I didn’t have any room in the drawer for my new file, so I also shredded all the lapsed files, as they were taking up too much space.   Finally, I reorganized the entire supply cupboard so that next time (this is my daily prayer to God) I won’t have to go through all of this again.

Rule #2.  Whatever daily “To Do” list you have written down on a piece of paper for yourself in order to feel productive—cross-off half the items. Better still, just make an origami bird or insect out of the paper the list is on, so you don’t feel you are wasting paper.

Rule #3.  Do not compare yourself to someone else. 

Margaret Atwood at eighty-one published another bestselling novel not long ago, and in a recent interview revealed she was learning to sew masks and had just climbed out of a second-storey bedroom window onto her roof to get rid of a squirrel.  When you hear stories like this about other people, go directly back to bed and pull the covers over your head. 

Rule #4.  Do not pay attention to other people’s needs if it interferes with your agenda.

You are not responsible for the weather or anyone else’s (a) health (b) food (c) exercise (d) happiness, or (e) moods. Go directly into your office, study, closet or bathtub—wherever you have managed to carve out a space for yourself—and stay there until everyone in the house has gone to bed.

Rule #5.  Learn to bob and weave.

Do not tell anyone what you are really thinking, even if your husband says you look like you have gained some weight and shouldn’t eat so much ice cream.

Rule #6. Give your primary energy to what feeds your soul.  

This is one rule that is likely to be overridden in times of crisis—like deciding what to have for dinner.

Rule #7.  Do not answer the phone until 3:00 p.m .

Rule #7. (a) Do not answer the phone period. 

Rule #8. Do not read a newspaper for a week.  Check the news for five minutes a day only to see if war has been declared. 

Rule #9. The only way to enjoy everything you are doing now is to delete the word “progress” from your consciousness.

Rule #10. If you ever see the word UPDATE on a piece of digital equipment, ignore it.  That includes your personal or office computer, tablet, notebook, cell phone and TV. 

Do not even think about improving something related to these devices, including changing a light bulb in your workspace (it will splinter), unless you have three hours of totally unstructured time, no obligations for the next two weeks, have had a good night's sleep, and the phone and doorbell are permanently disconnected. 

Rule #11.  If someone else in the household offers to order food for dinner, do not look up the restaurant, write out the phone number and address, print out the menu, select the menu items, decide the time of pick-up, select the payment choice, write in the number of the credit card, add the expiry date, or enter the back-of-the-card code.  Just show up at the appointed time with a knife and fork.

Rule #12.  When you eat, especially if you are alone, do not do anything else: no reading newspapers, emails, magazines or books; no talking on speaker phone, checking the weather or making notes. Just stare into space and taste the food.  Otherwise you will not remember that you have eaten and will reach soon afterwards for chocolate, which is not actually a food.

Rule #13. If you are having a really bad day, try unplugging yourself for a few minutes. That seems to be the solution for fixing everything else that’s not working too.

Rule #14. Keep passing open windows—do not pause to look out or hurl yourself through.

Rule #15. If you break any of these rules, forgive yourself. There is always another day, which will pretty much be just like this day, so you have another chance.

Rule #16. Always remember Rule #1.